I'm
going to commit a few, unforgiveable, burn-me-at-the-stakes heresies
here.
This is
another of the sequels that is better than the original.
“How
can you say that” you ask, as you stack the wood up and soak it in
oil. “How can this workmanlike picture starring hammy old scrotum
Roy Schneider be better than Kubrick's mindblowing spectacle.”
The
truth is, very easily. Everyone likes 2001, because it is Kubrick,
because it has got some spectacular visuals, but because IT IS A FILM
YOU MUST LIKE IN ORDER TO LOOK INFORMED – AND OF COURSE, COOL.
This is
bullshit. Hardly anyone really likes hard sci fi, and this movie is
leaden with it. The film essentially boils down to:
Act 1 –
Monkey's throw sticks at each other (witness opening of Star Wars
Holiday Special for similar Simian grunting fun). For ages.
Act 2 –
Endlessly praised match cut leads into hours of boring space ship
stuff set to music by proto Nazis. The most noteworthy event here is
a man visiting a toilet upside down.
Act 3 –
Two very wooden astronauts do very dull things while watching
themselves on “BBC12”. Computer eventually gets so fed up it
kills everyone until its building block brain is removed.
Act 4 –
Man goes down cool space tunnel while eerie Ligeti music plays;
eventually he meets an older version of himself with a face covered
in plasticene.
The
End.
2010
has some cool spaceships, fantastic sequences involving aero braking
around Jupiter, a bit of action, some hard sci fi elements that
aren't as dry as dust, Helen Mirren, and John Lithgow playing a
homosexual space engineer – this element of his character however
is excised from the movie, although it is explicit in the book. OK it
also has terrible voiceover exposition from Schneider, a horrible
hokey cold war plot, and Helen Mirren doing a terrible Russian accent
even though she is Russian while other members of the cast opt for Mr
Chekov style “Nuklee-ar Wessels” tomfoolery.
But at
least things happen!!! It doesn't bore the arse off you. 2001 is the
world's most boring film ever, making Solaris look like Toy Story,
and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.
And
what other sci fi film can boast having a future Queens of the Stone
Age keyboard player in the cast?
 |
| The young Natasha Scheider in 2010 |
 |
| And here with QOTSA for "Lullabies to Paralyse" |
Copyright
Bloody Mulberry 18.04.14
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